Hey There Remember Me????

I bet most of the whopping 13 followers have long since retreated from visiting DTBMMBLF. And I completely understand and would have bailed too!

But I'm back. Unfortunately, there's a WHOLE LOTTA me back! And it makes me sick. I don't know what it is about losing weight and me. Apparently I'm incapable of sticking to anything long enough to make it a "lifestyle change" as they say. Why is that? What does that say about me? I'm weak? I'm normal? I'm just a fat bastard, loser who has too many "issues" to stick to anything? Listen, I love myself. But for some reason I always think that tomorrow is the day! You know what I'm talking about....

Tomorrow is the day I will stop drinking soda. {yeah right}

Tomorrow is the day I will start walking again! {sure you will}

Tomorrow is the day I will eat only 1200 calories a day. {really? 1200 x 2 maybe}

Tomorrow is the day......fill in the blank.

Tomorrow comes and I over eat and wash it all down with a coke. Then immediately hate myself for what I've done.

I hate being fat. HATE IT! I despise how I feel, how I look, how my clothes fit. You name it...I hate it! BECAUSE I'M FAT! And I have no willpower!

And my husband doesn't get it. And I believe he never will.

This is what happened. I was doing well! Going to Jenny Craig. Walking. Then I went on vacation. I tried so hard. I even bought extra Jenny Craig food to take with me. I walked a couple of times while we were gone. Then some how I just fell off that wagon. And never got back on. Quite honestly, financially it was too much of a strain to keep up the cost of JC. And quite frankly, it seems that lately it's to much of a strain to keep up with the cost of anything for us. Maybe that stress is what helps contribute to my over eating. I am sure it has something to do with it.

What I want most, almost more than losing the weight, is to have a friend who understands. A friend who will jump into the trenches with me in moral support. A friend who understands what a struggle it is for me.

So here I am....laying it all out there. In hopes that this time will be the time.

19 Weeks

That's the goal. 19 Weeks. Does it sound like a long time. To me it does. But in reality it's not. Christmas day is the goal. Well...that's not entirely true. 140 is the goal. But averaging 2 lbs a week will put me a Christmas!

So starting today I'm back on program. Back to walking. Back to water, water, water. Back to swimming (in my little pool). Back to reality and back to a healthier life.

:)

CONFESSION TIME

Where do I begin? I went on vacation. I ate like a maniac! I drank like a fish! I indulged in every possible way. Booze, desserts, MC DONALD'S!, soda. You name it I did it. But I gathered the strength today and went and weighed in. AND I LOST .5 LBS! So I'm relieved, oh so relieved and back on track!

I've fallen......

God I hope I can get back up! I've fallen off the wagon a bit here and there. I admit it. I'm ashamed. Sad, and anxious to get back on track! The good thing is that I'm going to visit Carb Addict so we can keep each other in check.

HELP ME STAY MOTIVATED! HELP ME STOP NIBBLING! A BITE HERE A BITE THERE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT I'M A HEFFER AGAIN! OH MY!

{photo source: lucy learns}

Well, Hells Bells!!

I've been messing around with this 1/2 pound for four weeks now!!! Up and down...I have GOT to get more disciplined!! Up last week - down this week.

One of my problems is that I love my wine on the weekends! And last week, David had an issue with his knee and postponed our walk for several days. I walked alone at the lake on Saturday, but Sunday it was unbearably hot so I didn't go. This week we've been to the gym to walk only twice and will go again tonight, but I have to do more.

Back to the veggies!

Carb Addict & 1/2

Week In Review

This week was an interesting one! Lots of parties and activities that normally would NOT be conducive to losing weight or sticking to program. But I did my best and that's all I can do!

And, of course, it all started on FRIDAY EVENING!

We went to the Ft. Lauderdale Starlight Musicals concert in the park. Where we listened to the Valarie Tyson Band play classic R&B sounds!

On Saturday we headed out to Pump It Up for a birthday party where the kids had a blast running around and jumping, climbing and sliding! And where Miss Bugs looked at Hubby and declared "THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!" Too cute for words!

Then Saturday night the Kiddos were dropped off with family and Hubby & I headed out for a surprise birthday dinner at the wonderful Cafe Vico where we enjoyed a wonderful evening with old and new friends in celebration of Cabana Boy's (our friend) birthday. I found myself surrounded by good wine, even better food and the willpower to order the grilled chicken topped with arugula salad and it was delicious!

Sunday, of course, was filled with all things Father's day! We spent the day swimming, grilling out and enjoying the Florida summer! And let me tell you...there was a feast! Steak, Chicken, Baked Beans, Pasta Salad, Corn, Mahi Mahi, Burgers, Goombay Smashes, Chips, Dips, fresh fruit and of course, CAKE! But I was good! I had a small spoon full of beans, a small piece of steak and chicken and a little pasta salad. AND NO CAKE!

This week I only walked on Monday. Tuesday Hubby was running errands gearing up for his fishing trip on Wednesday and on Wednesday he was working late. Then, as it often does here in Summer, Thursday was filled with thunder storms. So there really isn't much to report in this exercise report. I did run and play with the kiddos at Pump it Up (and I'm not joking when I tell you that those obstacle courses are hard to do!) and had fun swimming on Sunday. Not too bad, I suppose.

As for the weigh in this morning.....THAT WAS FANTASTIC! I must have done something right over these past 7 days because I lost 2.5 lbs! I was so happy and pleased when I saw the number on the scale this morning! Not too shabby! I'm down a total of 15 lbs and the best part of the whole thing.....

I AM ABLE TO WEAR 2 PAIR OF JEANS THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO ZIP UP IN 2 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If that doesn't keep me going.....I don't know what would!

In need of encouragement

Since my last weigh in I'm felling really down about my current ability to lose any more weight. I know that I need to just hang in there that it will start coming off again. But it is sometimes hard when my schedule gets all screwed up! I haven't been able to walk since Monday. Tuesday the hubby was running errands preparing for his fishing trip the next morning and then Wednesday he was working late. I feel like a lump and I don't like it. I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT! Anyone out there have any for me?